AND THEN THERE WAS CALM….

Strike the pose Spider Jack Monkey

I am in bed, laptop on lap, cup of tea next to me and an empty packet of biscuits on the bedside table. It is 7.30pm and I have been sitting here for half an hour, pondering what to write. Noah’s party came and went without too many a disaster, by that I mean, that there was a plenty of cake, caffeine and chocolate to keep the children and their parents happy. There were tears and tantrums, but when are there not  tears and tantrums?  I think all the children who were invited turned up, The evening ended with a Chinese take away at ours with Mr Grumps brothers, sister in law, niece and nephew. Not forgetting a few extra tag a longs,  it seems I always managed to come back from a party with more children than I left with. Maybe that is because we just have Noah, maybe it is because I love a house full of children. Mr Grump says it is because I can not say no! A lovely evening was had by all, I love Mr Grumps siblings! They make me smile.

Now the weekend is over and I have prepared for the week ahead, slight exaggeration, the alarm clock is set, there is coffee ready to be poured into the cafetiere and I have laid out Noah’s clothes for nursery in his room tomorrow, oh did I mention that he is currently in his own bed, in his own room!  No? well he is! Anyway, I digress, I am sat here wondering, I do that a lot, I wonder, I imagine, I think, whether this is it? Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, I really do. And if I take the time to think how much my life has changed in the last six years, it is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, I still feel there is more, more to say, more to do, more to love. My brain aches sometimes with all the ideas I come up with.

So I am looking to study, looking to go back to university, as a 30 something wife and mother of one. There are hurdles, there are big hurdles, but I wonder, just wonder, if this might be one of those ideas I have that could settle into reality?

Inadequate Mummy Syndrome

Our holiday seems like a life time ago, and as I sit here on Friday afternoon, snuggled up with Noah, eating satsumas and crisps, watching a movie, I am beginning to feel slightly inadequate. I have spend some time today on various social networking sites, trying to promote this blog, and have been reading lots of parenting blogs, and posts on forums. There seems to be an abundance of mummies out there, who are uber organised and managed to do everything not only with a smile on their face, but with the up most ease. This is not me! I have read all about the mummies who have their days planned out weeks in advance, play groups, music, acting, singing, swimming, rugby, football lessons all for children under five, “play dates” are arranged weeks in advance, they even have a planner of what they are going to cook each night. They know exactly what time snack time is and what they are going to offer for it. Their children are all in bed for 6.45pm. They even manage to have sex with their husbands at least twice a week without complaining.

Noah and Mr Grump meeting Kung Fo Panda on board The Freedom of the Seas

For me, and for our family, life is not like that. There is always a pile of laundry that needs doing in our house, and one that needs putting away. My fridge generally has some life form, not known to previously exist, growing on one of the shelves. I am yet to invest in an ironing board, our bed is rarely made as soon as we get out of it, and Noah never has matching socks on. My friends know that they are welcome to pop over any time, there will always be a cup of tea offered and some type of food, there is a great possibility my son will be dressed as a superhero, and an even greater possibility I will be in my pjs! It is not unusual for Mr Grump to get home from work and we have a house full of unexpected guests who are staying for supper.

Noah enjoying alligator followed by chocolate chip pancakes

It seems that I am more than capable of taking my son half way around the world, getting him dressed up and taking him to a restaurant to feed him lobster, alligator, scallops,fillet of beef and anything else in between, bringing him with us to watch an open air showing of Madame Butterfly, allowing him to sit on the work top whilst I cook, encouraging him to try new things, sneaking into his room whilst he is asleep and leaving some chocolate by his pillow. I am happy to have a house full of children, to let them play and feed them whatever happens to jump out of the fridge. But the sheer thought of having to cook what is on a meal planner every night scares the living day lights out of me. I shake with fear, thinking what if I fancy something else? What if our favourite restaurant is serving a special on the night we are meant to be having pork tenderloin and vegetables? This in turns leads to a feeling of inadequacy, should I be planning meals? should I have play dates arranged weeks in advance? Is it going to damage my son in the future if instead of attending a play group, we stayed at home and dug for worms ready for when he goes fishing with his daddy?

There are so many books out there advising parents on how to parent, what is right? what is wrong? how many hours a child should sleep, where they should sleep. What they should and should not eat? Blah blah blah. It all seem so rigid to me. As I write this I am beginning to see that what ever works for your family, works for your family. And if it does not, try something new! Nothing that anyone writes can ever beat maternal instinct.

You see it is now 5.30pm, and there is no sign of dinner in the oven, we are all tired, therefore, its takeaway, bath and snuggles in bed whilst munching through a packet of double chocolate chip biscuits, listening to Mr Grump tell us tales of a land far far away! There will be crumbs in the bed, Noah is guaranteed to spill his milk, but would I change it? Hell No!

The to do list: Where is my pot of tea?

Morning!

So Whilst I love Tuesdays, Thursday’s I am not so keen on. They seem to involve too much doing and not enough sitting drinking tea.

I work a twelve hour shift on a Wednesday; like most things in life it has its advantages and disadvantages. It means I am able to work 18.74 hours in a two day week, perfect for the work life balance, however, not so perfect when you have been at work for 9 hours and are ready to go home and you realise there is still another 3 hours to go and you are becoming insanely irritable!

But hey, it is now Thursday morning, and I am sat in front of my laptop, in my pyjamas, thinking when I agreed / was coerced into doing this blog, I am not sure I realised exactly how much time would go into it. I have so far set up my facebook like page, apparently that helps increase traffic, invited and shamelessly plugged my blog to all who would listen, and even some who were not so keen on listening. Noah is currently sitting on the floor next to me, dressed in a spiderman onesie loading all his cars into the back of a bin lorry. Today he has opted not to respond to Noah or Spiderman and I have been informed that today he is Iceman!

I have a house that needs tiding, more laundry to do than I want to think about, a suitcase to pack, a cake to bake for home group this evening, supper to cook for the family, Kumon for Noah this afternoon, photos and recipes to upload on here. Not to mention the dreaded post office queue for Neal’s passport. So how am I going to do it all?

Who knows, one thing is for sure, I will be reporting back here, letting you know!