Sometimes, I like to scream, I like to really scream, I mean scream from the bottom of my stomach. I like to do it when nobody else is around in the privacy of my own car, usually driving on the dual carriage way. I find it therapeutic. I find it the best way to let go, to relinquish control, to be able to say, (in not so many words) that I need a release, an outlet.
Other times, I like to cry, again, I cry from the bottom of my stomach and when nobody is around, I sob. I cry because I am grateful, blessed and yet, I have pain. I have a yearning to see people smile. I spent quite a few years unhappy, lost in a downward spiral. I felt completely out of control of the choices that I had made and continued to make. Life is very different now!
Still other times I like to laugh, I like to laugh at my mistakes, my crazy thoughts, my quirky habits, but most of all I like to laugh at my successes. At work, I am known as the eccentric, slightly chaotic one, who can laugh at her own chaos. I like to see people smile, I do. Which is why I do the job I do.
I might not be great at the paperwork, I might not be the best at filling, or at adding data to a spreadsheet, or getting more positive discharges than any of my work colleagues, but the one thing, I think I am good at, and the sole reason I do the job I do is that I believe in my clients, I have a heart felt love for anyone who is trapped in addiction and needs help in finding their way out. Whether that is by joining a 12 step fellowship, gaining access to residential rehab, or just coming to sit in the office with me, have a cup of tea and talk.
I have muttered enough, I really should now get on with the work that I love doing!