Now I am under no illusion that Noah is the perfect child, he has tantrums, likes to scream when he does not get his own way, has been known to lob the odd toy across the room out of pure anger / frustration / damn right stubbornness, and has a decent right hook. But I like to think that I discipline him, I correct his behaviour. There are things that I deem as not acceptable.
Now what about other peoples children? I know we all parent differently, in fact, I whole heartedly agree with different styles of parenting, as those of you who read my blog regularly will know. But I do think there are some fundamental rules. We do live in a world where there are laws and there are consequences to breaking those laws. It took Mr Grump and I a while to discuss these rules, and it has been through trial and error that we have come to agree on the five listed below.
These are the Golden Rules in our house.
1. The dinner table is a place where you sit, eat, drink, talk, and find out about each others day, share concerns and achievements. It is NOT a place where you spit, throw food, shout, scream, demand or act like an animal.
2. Adults do not like to be shouted at, bitten, kicked, smacked or hit, neither do children for that matter, therefore, when the situation arises, which it does, Noah finds himself on the naughty step or in the corner, having time out, until he can calm down and apologise. Mr Grump and I find ourselves counting to ten in the utility room!
3.Sharing is Caring (thank you Mrs H-F) this goes for everything, even mummy and daddy’s chocolate, especially when friends are around.
4. Please and Thank you, really are the magic words!
5. If mummy or daddy says NO, it is for a good reason! The answer will not change no matter how many times you ask.
I am trying to teach Noah that these rules are universal, that if he learns them in his own house, sees his parents and grandparents displaying the same principles. I hope, and pray, that when he is at nursery, at friends houses or at Sunday school, he is able to behaviour in a way that we as parents deem appropriate.
Now all this is fine, and if we live in a world where everyone shared the same five basic principles I am pretty sure it would solve the majority of crisis’s that happen in the world. But how do I go about disciplining other people’s children? Do I even discipline them? Is it ever appropriate to talk to mummies about their little darling’s behaviour? Or even put them on the naughty step? I say “my house my rules”. If I serve up food, you are expected to try it, and just because you are allowed to watch / say / play with something at your house does not mean you can do it at mine! But am I right in thinking and saying this?
I am not for one minute some regimental militant; I pride myself on being loving, fun, and most of all present in the moment. However, please all you mummies out there who think it is acceptable to allow for your children to learn by their own mistakes, make their own rules up, I have something to tell you, life is not like that, every action has a consequence, and if your little darling is allowed to swear at you, kick and punch you with no form of discipline, no word on what is appropriate and what is not, there is little wonder when they end up not listening to you, not respecting you, after all, everything our children become is learnt, not only from the actions of those around them but what they watch, what they play and how they are treated! Rant well and truly over!
(please do not take offence I have had a day working with people who are reluctant to take any ownership over their behaviour, and some day’s I can see their point, other days I want to scream)
- Parenting in a Nutshell: Set discipline rules for kid’s sitters (triblive.com)
- Societal Ills: Lack of Parenting (mikesfilmtalk.com)
- Inadequate Mummy Syndrome (suffolkbianca.wordpress.com)