Our holiday seems like a life time ago, and as I sit here on Friday afternoon, snuggled up with Noah, eating satsumas and crisps, watching a movie, I am beginning to feel slightly inadequate. I have spend some time today on various social networking sites, trying to promote this blog, and have been reading lots of parenting blogs, and posts on forums. There seems to be an abundance of mummies out there, who are uber organised and managed to do everything not only with a smile on their face, but with the up most ease. This is not me! I have read all about the mummies who have their days planned out weeks in advance, play groups, music, acting, singing, swimming, rugby, football lessons all for children under five, “play dates” are arranged weeks in advance, they even have a planner of what they are going to cook each night. They know exactly what time snack time is and what they are going to offer for it. Their children are all in bed for 6.45pm. They even manage to have sex with their husbands at least twice a week without complaining.
For me, and for our family, life is not like that. There is always a pile of laundry that needs doing in our house, and one that needs putting away. My fridge generally has some life form, not known to previously exist, growing on one of the shelves. I am yet to invest in an ironing board, our bed is rarely made as soon as we get out of it, and Noah never has matching socks on. My friends know that they are welcome to pop over any time, there will always be a cup of tea offered and some type of food, there is a great possibility my son will be dressed as a superhero, and an even greater possibility I will be in my pjs! It is not unusual for Mr Grump to get home from work and we have a house full of unexpected guests who are staying for supper.
It seems that I am more than capable of taking my son half way around the world, getting him dressed up and taking him to a restaurant to feed him lobster, alligator, scallops,fillet of beef and anything else in between, bringing him with us to watch an open air showing of Madame Butterfly, allowing him to sit on the work top whilst I cook, encouraging him to try new things, sneaking into his room whilst he is asleep and leaving some chocolate by his pillow. I am happy to have a house full of children, to let them play and feed them whatever happens to jump out of the fridge. But the sheer thought of having to cook what is on a meal planner every night scares the living day lights out of me. I shake with fear, thinking what if I fancy something else? What if our favourite restaurant is serving a special on the night we are meant to be having pork tenderloin and vegetables? This in turns leads to a feeling of inadequacy, should I be planning meals? should I have play dates arranged weeks in advance? Is it going to damage my son in the future if instead of attending a play group, we stayed at home and dug for worms ready for when he goes fishing with his daddy?
There are so many books out there advising parents on how to parent, what is right? what is wrong? how many hours a child should sleep, where they should sleep. What they should and should not eat? Blah blah blah. It all seem so rigid to me. As I write this I am beginning to see that what ever works for your family, works for your family. And if it does not, try something new! Nothing that anyone writes can ever beat maternal instinct.
You see it is now 5.30pm, and there is no sign of dinner in the oven, we are all tired, therefore, its takeaway, bath and snuggles in bed whilst munching through a packet of double chocolate chip biscuits, listening to Mr Grump tell us tales of a land far far away! There will be crumbs in the bed, Noah is guaranteed to spill his milk, but would I change it? Hell No!
Tagged: alligator, blog, boys, children, cleaning, disorganised mummy, drinking tea, family, food, friends, fruit, Inadequate mummy, inappropriateness, lobster, marriage, Parent, parenting, working mummy